NOT afraid , not afraid , not afraid...
I stand in front of the mirror and I am afraid to open my eyes and take a look at me .
Many thoughts are scattering in my mind .
Can I be someone else if I close my eyes hard and concentrate and concentrate and ... Concentrate ?!
Can I be pretty in case I think about it as a wish ? As a Christmas wish since Christmas will be here soon?
Can I be strong enough not just to face the image in the mirror , I am not afraid of that(of facing the girl in the mirror ) , I am afraid that the girl in front of that mirror may be so fragile , that those in the outer world will tear her heart apart . And she , she won't even be able to scream. She will just smile , smile with the pain .
Smile with the pain ...
That gives an impression that she is STRONG, while in the other hand we all know appearances lie.
Is there anyone in this world that will read her soul ? NOT, just read it , but get it , understand it , help it , love it ???
I am looking for it... even know.
And I am tired .
It's like everything it's for nothing . I jumped into the sea when I could;t swim , I climbed Everest knowing nothings about snow and mountains , I agreed into being a Boat Captain not knowing how to use a compass.
It's like I loved nature for nothing because that was killing me too , everything was useless , useless for many reasons. Useless because I wasn't missing love , I didn't recognize love.
She couldn't even love herself . She wasn't LOVED .
Can I change that ?
Introduce me to love .
Please to every SelfLover out there ...
Reed . xxx